Evolving from a traditional Navajo ceremony, a Mother Blessing is a sacred gathering of female family and friends to pamper, support, and empower the mother-to-be with wisdom and confidence in preparation for childbirth and motherhood.
The Doula Advantage offers a Mother Blessing ceremony planning and hosting service. The service allows the mother-to-be and her loved ones to completely indulge in the ceremony without stressing about organisation and hosting responsibilities.
The service includes:
- A planning session to discuss your vision for the Mother Blessing. A session with friends or family of the mother can be organized if the Mother Blessing is a surprise event for the Mother. If you're unsure about what decisions to make I'll provide a range of ideas to choose from and offer my recommendations.
- A beautifully designed custom invitation sent electronically and/or via post to guests. (See below for a sample invitation)
- Planning the event, rituals, and activities. Special extras like professional henna tattoos, belly casting, hair braiding, manicures/pedicures/facials, photography, floral arrangements, catering, dancers, and musicians can all be arranged. Where possible a nice touch is to have friends and family with a flare for creativity help with the rituals and activities. (See below for a list of popular Mother Blessing rituals and activities)
- Preparing the ceremony space. Depending on your preferences, decor can be provided at no additional cost and arranged to create a relaxing and comfortable space for guests to gather. This includes candles, scarves/material for draping, and ornaments for the centerpiece (see below for examples).
While events usually take place at the home of a friend/family member or the mother, Mother Blessing's can also be held at a hotel or retreat, or outdoors at a beautiful park, community garden, or reserve.
- Facilitating and guiding the ceremony. This involves welcoming guests, explaining the purpose of the ceremony and the rituals and activities planned, opening the ceremony, facilitating and guiding each of the rituals and activities, closing the ceremony, and finally thanking guests for their participation.
- Providing materials needed for rituals and activities. The materials needed depends on the rituals and activities chosen (see below for a list of popular Mother Blessing rituals and activities). It may include candles, red yarn, beads, jewellery thread, flowers, florist wire, florist tape, fabric flags, string, a wishing tree, decorative paper/cardstock etc. I will source everything needed.
- Organizing the food and refreshments. Most Mother Blessing's are potluck, but caterers - whether paid or volunteers - can be arranged.
Mother Blessings are typically held in the eighth to ninth month of pregnancy, and a month's time to plan the ceremony is ideal.
Pricing
Mother Blessing Planning & Hosting prices start at $250
Additional costs are added depending on the materials and services needed for the event. However an amazing Mother Blessing can easily be achieved with minimal additional costs. For inquiries about Mother Blessing planning and hosting please
contact me.
Sample Mother Blessing Invitations
Invites are normally designed for printing at A6 - A5 sizes, 300 dpi, in PDF format, and include a front and back design. Colour scheme, graphics, fonts, and text can all be customized to your requirements.
Blessingway Rituals & Activities
Lighting Candles
Provide a candle for each guest and have them light their candle from the central candle (the mother’s candle), then place their candle next to the mother’s as a symbol of support for the mother and their inclusion in the ceremony.
At the end of the Mother Blessing, extinguish the candles and have each guest take their candle home. When the mother goes into labour, message the guests so they can light the candle in her honor, keeping it burning until the baby is born.
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| Credit: Vicki Hobbs |
Collective Centerpiece
Centerpieces can be made with flowers, stones, crystals, or other pieces of nature. Guests can also bring objects that are sacred or special to them for use in the centerpiece for the day. Ask each guest to bring an item and gather them together to form a centerpiece for the ceremony.
Pampering
Typically, grooming of the expecting mother is done first. You may choose to wash the mother's feet in warm water gently scented by essential oils, brush and braid her hair, give her a manicure, pedicure, facial, or massage.
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| Credit: Grace Ceremonies |
Anointing with Oil
This is a beautiful way to endow confidence in a mother. Give each guest a slip of paper that tells them a specific body part to anoint. An example:
"I anoint your head, may your intuition guide the decisions you will make in the coming years. I anoint your chest, may your heart be filled with love, acceptance, compassion and forgiveness. I anoint your breasts, may they produce abundant milk for your baby. I anoint your hips, may they allow for an easy and empowering birth. I anoint your hands, may they cradle your baby with divine love. I anoint your feet, may they ground you and keep you centered."
Laying of Hands
Laying of hands is an especially unifying and supportive ritual. Have each guest place their hands on the pregnant woman’s belly (if she is comfortable with this) and say a blessing, prayer, affirmation, or sing a song in unison.
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| Laying of Hands, Credit: Brigid's Grove |
Make a Crown of Flowers
This is a delightful way to help the mother feel beautiful and honored. Ask each guest to bring a flower and weave the flowers into a crown using additional foliage, florist wire, and florist tape. For instructions see this
post from Flowers Across Melbourne florist blog.
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| Flower Crown, Credit: Adelaideup |
Beaded Bracelet
This is a favourite for many mothers and a nice way to get everyone - not just those attending the event - involved in supporting the mother. Have each guest bring or send a bead they have picked for the mother. The bead should be something the guest has picked with the mother in mind. At the Mother Blessing pass a piece of jewelry thread around the circle, allowing each guest to say a blessing to the mother before threading her bead. Once each guest has threaded their own bead, have them continue around the circle by threading the beads and reading the blessings of any loved ones who couldn't attend the ceremony.
The mother can then keep the beads close - during pregnancy, labor, and beyond - to remind her of her support circle. Many mothers have said that these birth beads give them strength and focus during labor.
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| Mother Blessing Beads, Credit: Loving a Glutenfree Life |
Prayers, Poems, and Blessings
Ask each guest to bring or send something they've found or written for the mother. This can be a thought, quote, poem, song lyric, blessing, or prayer - something that endows positivity and support for the mother. In your wording you may want to consider the mothers specific circumstances. Is she a first time mother? Is she still healing from a previous miscarriage or difficult birth? Is she planning on a VBAC? Has she expressed specific concerns about birth or motherhood? You can compile the written notes into a small, beautiful Blessing Book or Blessing Box for the mother. Friends and family unable to attend can send their written messages via mail, electronically, or send audio or video recordings. You can find a great collection of birth poems
here and
here.
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| Credit: Homebirth Aotearoa |
Book of Mothering Wisdom
Have mothering friends write or send gentle mothering wisdom for the pregnant mother. This could be in the form of a thought, quote, poem, song lyric, blessing, or prayer - whatever each mother wants to contribute. Have each mother take turns reading her contribution before adding it to a book. Friends and family unable to attend can send their written messages via mail, electronically, or send audio or video recordings.
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| Credit: Ann Landers |
Share Positive Birth Experiences
Empower the mother-to-be by sharing positive birth experiences with her. Take turns going around the room telling what you most enjoyed about your births.
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| Credit: Maria Shytova |
Centering the Mother
Help refill the mothers spiritual cup by each expressing what qualities you love about her or recounting a sweet or fun story about her.
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| "Blessings" by Veronica Petrie |
Releasing Fear
This ritual is best done at the beginning of the Mother Blessing so that guests may release their fears and feel free to focus on the ceremony.
"The purpose of the ceremony is to identify and symbolically release old hurts, grudges, resentments, regrets, sufferings, mistakes… to release the past letting go of any thoughts, feelings or behaviors that might be holding you back." - The Compassionate Gardener
For this ritual ask each guest write down their fear on a piece of paper, then starting with the mother, each participant puts their piece of paper in a "burning bowl" where they're safely burnt. You can end the ritual by saying:
“By burning these things, we release our fears. May we now be free to focus our minds and hearts upon the present moment.”
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| Burning Bowl Ceremony, Credit: Michael Woods |
Birthing Flags
Have guests decorate a small fabric flag with an inspirational image, phrase, affirmation, or design that relates to birthing or feeling empowered. The guests then bring or send the flags to the Mother Blessing, where they read or explain the meaning behind their flag, before connecting each piece of fabric with a cord. The expecting mother can hang the flags in her birthing space.
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| Credit: Hourglass Photography |
Wishing Tree
This is a sweet activity commonly done at baby showers, birthdays, engagements, and weddings and which would fit in well at a Mother Blessing. Create a miniature tree from a branch and place it in a pretty pot. Have each guest write a wish for the new mother using decorative paper/cards. Tie the wishes to the tree as “leaves.” The wishes can later be collected for the mother and cherished in a "Wish Book" or "Wish Box".
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| Wishing Tree, Credit: Project Nursery |
River Stones
Provide each guest with a smooth river stone. Ask the guests to think of a word they would like the pregnant mother to focus on before and during labor. Each guest should write her word on the stone, then everyone can share why they chose their word.
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| Credit: Breathe Doula Care, Portland |
Belly Cast
A belly cast is a slightly messy and light-hearted activity that will bring smiles all around. It's actually fairly straight forward and each guest can take turns applying the plaster bandage. It also gives the mother a lovely keepsake of her pregnant body. Alternatively the mother can bring her premade belly cast and each participant can paint/write an affirmation or design.
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| Credit: Mother & Baby UK |
Belly Painting
Another fun activity is to paint the mother's belly. You can use henna paints or any non-toxic (preferably natural) body paints. The mother may have a design she would like, something of special significance. You can talk it over with the mother beforehand and decide what she would like. Henna paint may work especially well because it could last until the birth, if the mother wants. A nice touch would be to henna each hand of the guests as well, symbolically connecting each participant in the circle.
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| Mother Blessing Henna, Credit: Healing Henna |
Candle Jars
There are a multitude of beautiful ways to decorate candle jars. You may choose to use glass paint, gold leaf, colorful or patterned tissue paper, glitter, lace, ribbon etc. You can have each participant bring jars from home or provide them for your guests. If having a homebirth, candles can be lit in the jars during labor to create a beautiful glow and remind the mother of her support circle. You can find instructions for the below jars
here.
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| Decorated Candle Jars, Credit: Rach Speed |
Nature Mobile or Wreath
Ask each guest to bring something from nature (a dried flower, a crystal, foliage etc.). Incorporate the objects into a simple wreath or mobile – it can grace the mother’s birthing space and/or can be enjoyed by the new baby. Guests can also choose to tie small gifts or affirmations to the wreath.
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| Wreath, Credit: Terrain |
Plant a Garden
For the pregnant mother who loves plants, ask each guest to bring a small perennial plant the mother can keep in her house or plant at her leisure.
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| Credit: El Jardin De Gaia |
Embroidered Blanket
Ask each guest to write a short note or design on a plain blanket with fabric markers. Then someone with a talent for embroidery can embroider over the marker to keep the notes and designs intact.
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| Credit: Celeste Johnston |
Decorate Baby Clothes
Ask each guest to bring a onesie or other plain cotton baby clothing to decorate. You can use freezer stencils, appliqué fabric markers, or any other simple craft ideas.
Labor/Motherhood CD
Ask each guest to send a special song that will be burned onto a CD that the mother can listen to (during labor if appropriate). Each guest can share why she chose the song. You can find a beautiful album specifically made for Mother Blessing ceremonies
here (pictured below).
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| Blessingway Songs,by Copperwoman &
the 2005 Esalen Midwives Retreat Choir | |
Online or Powerpoint Blessingway
Especially good for friends who cannot come to an in person ceremony, gather photos of the pregnant mother during pregnancy, with friends, etc and put them together with special words of love from the mother’s support system. Add in an appropriate piece of music, and you have a beautiful keepsake.
Care Package
Ask each guest to bring a gift to include in a care package. This could be nipple ointment, body butter, facial masks, hair oil, essential oils, scented heat pack, a selection of teas, bath salts, a voucher for a massage or manicure etc.
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| New Mother Care Package
Credit: Sweet Gum Botanicals |
Help List
Sign up each guest for a period of housework, childcare of other siblings, and other chores in the days after the baby is born. Consider having each participant write down a meal that they are committed to bringing for the mother after her baby is born. Alternately each participant can bring a pre-made frozen meal, if the mother has space in her freezer. You or another participant can also take responsibility for organizing and overseeing the help. The mother shouldn't have to do anything. At the Mother Blessing tell her of your plans and assure her you have it all taken care of.
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| Freezer Meal Ideas, Credit: New Leaf Wellness |
Binding Bracelet
This is a wonderful way to close the circle and to symbolize to the mother that she is supported and connected to the women in the circle. One at a time starting with the mother, a ball of yarn or cord (usually red) is wrapped around each participants wrist twice and then passed on to the woman next to her who does the same. Once all participants have bound their wrists some words can be spoken about the web of connectivity and support within the mothers circle of loved ones. An example:
"We are the flow, we are the ebb, we are the weavers, we are the web."
Each woman then takes a turn to cut the strings of the woman next to her and ties it to her wrist. The bracelets stays on until the mother births her baby.
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| Binding Bracelet, Credit: Paper Bluejay |
Sources:
How To Conduct A Blessingway
http://snowboardmommy.com/mother-blessings/how-to-conduct-a-mother-blessing/
Blessingway Ceremonies
http://fresnodoula.com/otherServices/motherBlessing.html
Planning A Blessingway
http://www.naturalbirthandbabycare.com/blessingway.html
Blessingway Sample Ceremony
https://blessingsbyashleigh.weebly.com/blessingway-sample-ceremony.html
30 Ideas for Mother Blessing Ceremonies
http://codenamemother.com/2011/10/26/mother-blessings/
Positive Birth Group-Davis County: Mother Blessing Ceremonies
https://myutahdoulas.com/2017/03/17/pbg-mother-blessings/
What is a Blessingway Ceremony?
https://aparaba.com/conscious-birth/blessingway-ceremony/
Blessingways
https://twincitiesmidwifery.wordpress.com/2015/04/23/blessingways/
Mother Blessing Ceremony
http://sacredpathbirth.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/10/MotherBlessingCeremony-overview-1.pdf
Blessingway
http://www.mysticmamma.com/blessing-way/
